The Show Report

The fabulous @ShowReports on Twitter (see right) has taken over the function of this listing now, so please follow them. The original listing is included after this Twitter feed from @ShowReports.

The list below was originally at www.theshowreport.co.uk
where it was edited by Steve Macluskie, RSAMD

A Show Report is the last thing the stage manager has to do in the evening before heading to the bar. It’s a listing of statistics relating to that evening/afternoon’s performance, and includes details such as running times, number of audience, technical operators etc. It also often includes examples (some intentional!) of the humour of the stage management team. The list below contains actual show report entries submitted by SM’s around the globe.

The original messages were archived at Techie Chick (website no longer online)

LATEST ADDITIONS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE
Show: Big Maggie, 2012

“Mr. _____left the side of stage before his second entrance for ‘Do you know what I forgot?’ (where he interupts Gert and Teddys kiss) he appeared to be flustered prior to the show and due to a lack of concentration forgot he had a second entrance. The cast onstage skipped the section and proceeded with the next line ‘You’d better call your mother’ at which point Mr. _____ came running onto the stage in his Trousers for ACT II, no coat, shirt halfway buttoned, no hat, and no shoes and shouted out ‘I forgot the seedless raisins, you know the seedless ones’ Gert quickly pulled a bag out from under the counter and said ‘Here you are’ Mr. ___ repeated ‘ Are they seedless?’ Gert replied ‘Yes they are’ Byrne took the raisins and while exiting called out ‘Sorry about that’”

Submitted by Abigail, August 2012

Show: Polygraph, Nottingham Playhouse 2001

“When Mr W. came through the wall he said he broke the wall with his forehead and his nose. He is OK but would rather not do that again”

Submitted by LX technician, Nick Morris, 3 May 2007

Show: The Three Musketeers, Bristol Old Vic
“1.During Athos’s speech about his wife in the Tavern a young child was just heard in the audience declaring ‘I need a poo!’. Was dealt with very professionally by company and no real reaction from audience. Child’s plea had clearly not been listened to however and in the final line of the speech was heard even more insistently saying ‘I NEED A POO!‘ Mr **** did his best to finish the speech with ‘And now it’s time to get drunk!’ through a clenched jaw to stop from laughing as audience were in hysterics and company not doing much better. Received round from
audience. We then switched focus over to the SR table for the next line – unfortunately Ms ******* and Mr ****** had not recovered yet and it took some time before we were able to continue. It is unknown if child was listened to or not, but nothing further was heard.”

Submitted by DSM, Linda Muirhead, 12 January 2007
Show: Cinderella, Neptune Theatre, Liverpool (Dec 2000)
“Act1 second entrance of Cinderella, called on stage by the ugly sisters. Cinders did not appear although her radio mic was made live by the the sound op. Cinderella could be heard off stage singing her finale song although could not be found by any member of cast or crew. A few min’s later after the ugly sisters contiued the scene without her, Cinderella appeared prompt corner to inform me she had been on the toilet.”
Submitted by Lisa Mitchell, June 2006
Show: Talent Show 2006 (FHHS)
“LX cue 4 missed due to teacher b*tching about actress not being in the light during previous act.”
Submitted by R. O’Shea, May 2006
Show: Suessical The Musical (High School)
“…a piece of toast was left center stage in full view”
Submitted by Galen Miley, March 2006
Show: Treasure Island, Colnbrook Amateur Stage Theatre, Berkshire, UK
Billy Bones dispensed with his Scene 3 opening speech and instead addressed the audience saying that he wouldn’t mind betting that the only reason he was telling his story was because the dancer who had just left the stage, was about to reappear dressed as another character. Needless to say, it got a better laugh from the audience than the pre-prepared script.”
Submitted by Chris Darbon, December 2005
Show: Community Theatre, Harvey
“Lightning hits during performance. 4 scrollers blow. House screen descends. Tom, I have a screen. Tom. Tom! How do I stop the screen? Where oh where is the control for the screen. What do you mean it is not here in the booth? Screen is slowly folding up on stage as batten comes into view. Wonderful actors moved around in front of screen and continued the scene with no set until Tom got to the controls (in an absurd, obscure location behind stage right dimmers)”
Submitted by Jenne Steffen, September 2005
Show: The Dining Room, Chichester College, 19 May 2005

20:46 LX cue 6 was late due to LX Op standing in front of dimmer pack one putting out fire.

Submitted by James A Jones (SM and LX op), May 2005

Show: Everyman, Fairmont State University, 2005

“The fire alarm went off at 8:45 due to Op Shop personnel exploding a vacuum cleaner bag in the lobby… seriously… I don’t have the energy to make something like that up”

Submitted by Patrick Conley, March 2005

Show: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Connaught Theatre, Dec 2004
“During the Wicked Queen/ Hunter jelly sequence a member of the audience responded to the question ‘Oh can’t we have the jelly then?’ with ‘No, F*** it!’”“DSM splashed hot tea in her face during the interval, and called the second half of the show with an ice pack on her face.”Submitted by Vicky Brennan / Neil Blaikie, March 2005
Show: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe
“The TD had to leave 15 minutes before curtain up due to the gaping flesh wound in his head. SM called only other person legally allowed to operate pyros, ATD, whose reaction to the TD’s swift exit was ‘What in the **** was he doing headbutting a door?’
TD returns after interval, mildly concussed and with surgical glue holding his head together. SM decides he isn’t fit to blow things up.”
Submitted by Sid, March 2005
Show: Aladdin 2004, Perth Repertory Theatre
“Wee Wishee Washie’s Wig Was Well Wonky.”Submitted by David Smout, December 2004
Show: Aladdin 2004, Perth Repertory Theatre
“After delivering his first ‘oh yes I will’ and receiving no response, Mr L** gave the audience a lecture in Panto etiquette and response. He then reminded the audience of the earlier lesson in Act 2.”Submitted by David Smout, December 2004
Show: Othello adaptation
Carl (the director) would like to know if we can make the cloths that the actors tear down fall slower.
To which the ATD responded: No problem. We’ll just turn gravity down backstage.
Submitted by Mike Brancato, November 2004
Show: Mark Ives The Death of Trotsky
Bushy wig worn by actor playing Trotsky came off whenever he moved his head. Actor finally solved problem by ignoring snickering audience and replacing wig each time, and finally hollering at the audience, “Suspension of disbelief, people!”Submitted by Kimberly Wadsworth, July 2004
Entire Show Report for As You Like It (Shakespeare Festival of Dallas)

————————————————–
Good show, small audience. No one vomited on stage.

Act 1: 1 hour 22 minutes
Act 2: 56 minutes

————————————————–

Submitted by Dave Tenney, July 2004  

Show: Scrooge The Musical (amateur group)
Opening night: A slight mistake by the stage hands meant that Tiny Tim’s gravestone remained on until the final scene, when one of the actors had the insight it shouldn’t be there and removed it.
The hobby horse, presented to Peter Cratchitt by Scrooge, had obviously been somewhere dirty. Chorus member stroking its mane came across a sticky Fruit Polo in it, and had some trouble concealing her look of disgust and amusement.

Submitted by Clare Parkinson, March 2004
Show: Drama Festival
Group onstage were flailing for lines, and were delighted when an audience member vomited, providing adequate time for them to consult their scripts.
Submitted by Clare Parkinson, March 2004
Show: Home Free! (Gainsborough Studios, London)
“During the evening, the director had helped himself to two glasses of wine and placed them neatly on the seat next to him ready to commence the show. However, as the male lead said “Damn college boys” on pg. 32, the ghost (which had been causing all sorts of problems during the run) threw one of the directors glasses (with wine still in it) onto the floor. Due to the high-pitched girlie squeal which was released by the male director, the LX board op could not gather himself to execute LX cue 72.”
Submitted by David Cooke, March 2004
(Note: Gainsborough Studios in Islington, London, is reputed to be haunted by the ghost of Sir Alfred Hitchcock, as this was where he made a number of films).
Show: West Side Story (High school production)
“At the end of the scene where Chino tells Maria that her brother was killed, the actor turned to open a door to leave. On discovering this door was locked and would not open, he walked around the edge of the wall to leave, causing the audience to burst out laughing.”
Submitted by Sarah Nicol-Browne, January 2004
Show: Midsummer Night’s Dream adaptation
“A new stagehand decided to fart loudly in a quiet moment just before Oberon spoke his line. Stagehands on stage left in fits of laughter silently”
“The ASM’s headset went off at full volume just before curtains opened, broadcasting his argument with a member of the lighting team to the whole stage.”
“A member of the audience at the top of the auditorium dropped a penny which then continued to roll down the stairs, clinking at each step.”
Submitted by Anonymous, January 2004
Show: Seven Moves (About Face Theatre Chicago)
“25 minutes prior to press opening, several sound cues were shifted around by the sound designer without having informed the sound operator. Sound 16 was to instead have been sound 52 for the evening. When cue 16 was called, sound 16 (a news briefing) was played three times. The sound designer, who was sitting clear across the theatre rose from his seat and yelled ‘just play the F***** sound cue’ to the amusement of the Chicago Tribune amongst other reporters.”
Submitted by Brian Rizowy, September 2003
Show: Xena Live: Episode II, Xena Lives!!! The Musical!(About Face Theatre, Chicago)
“1 hour prior to opening night curtain, an urgent call is received from the stage manager’s boyfriend informing the producer that the stage manager is too ill to call the show. Ms. Shmucker (yes, that’s her real name, she’s the producer) was already drunk at that time and had never seen the entire show, nor had she ever heard it called before. Just when everything was going to fall apart, the sound engineer tripped on an electric cable and erased the entire contents of the digitizer, which had not been backed up due to last minute changes. I, the 18 y.o. ASM was left with the task of preparing the show and the cast. 3800 cues later Xena saved the evening. Every cue was wrong. No need to keep track.”
Submitted by Brian Rizowy, September 2003
Show: Crazy for You (Rehearsal Note)
“Four members of cast, including the male lead arrived 20 mins late and under the influence for the final run before show week. Were that not enough, at the end of Act 1 one of the late arrivals chose to react to Bobby’s apology to the chorus with ‘Well thats not bloody good enough is it!!’ instead of the usual sympathetic response.”
Submitted by Tom Barton, September 2003
Show: Far and Furthest
“the audience clapped for a while in the middle thinking it was the end.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Oedipus
“Mr Edwards (MD) was almost late for one of his cues and made a bit of noise dashing to the piano.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Nativity
“During show, a child who was angry for not being chosen as the lead sheep, pulled the fire alarm. The show had to be stopped for fifteen minutes while the fire department came and figured how to shut it off.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: A View from the Bridge – rehearsal note
“Ms. Deans would like two imaginary windows”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Annie
“Tony the dog sniffed something interesting in the wing just before his entrance at the end of Act 1 scene 6. He was very late and walked across the stage as the lights faded to black.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Bartered Bride
“Sprat the dog was able to perform despite contracting an infestation of fleas. He did not, however take a curtain call.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Jerry’s Girls
” … and photographer shot during rehearsal”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Rent UK Tour 2001
“The sound was a bit Monday nightish”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: One of Many
“When the LX op was under the influence and was missing most of the cues the report read F.E.B.C.A.D. (fault exists between chair and desk).”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Oh What A Lovely War
“During the Irish Rangers scene the sound operator accidentally triggered two samples at the same time thus instead of the sound of a single shot being fired the sound of a horse neighing was also heard. R____ B______ exclaimed in his broad irish accent, ‘Bejesus them filthy Huns is shooting the horses an’ all.'”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: The Importance of being Earnest
“Act 3 smoke – There was quite a lot, it looked good, but obscured some of the cast.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show : Guys and Dolls
“The house was plunged into darkness during the interval due to the LX op putting his phone onto the ‘Cut’ button. This was made up for during the second half by the houselights accidentaly rising when some quick plotting had included them by mistake.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Secret Suppressed Desire Society
“Banana Dildo did not work today due to the fact that the actresses were playing with it before the show and the batteries died. ASM replaced batteries.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Anon
“The DSM was given a verbal warning by the Company Manager after she arrived at the venue sporting sandals with socks!”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Anon
“There was very heavy rain throughout the day and a few drips on stage”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show : La Pietra Del Paragone
“Could an ASM please be available in the wings to pass water?”
(another rehearsal note but worth an entry I thought!)
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Face (a musical)
“Mr Kenah aided Mr Dudley (No.1 Sound Engineer) with sound today due to Mr Dudley going deaf.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: The Admirable Crichton
“Act 1 Pg 173, Mr Chisholm mixed up last line of speech: ‘lit their nips’ instead of ‘knit their lips’ Mr Chisholm realised mistake and corrected himself, then adding ‘I know what I meant- I wrote it!’ Received round of applause from audience.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Careless Husband
“The show minidisks were mixed up with the recording session disks during the course of the first half. During the second half sound Q40 (gust of wind) was instead replaced by the voice of the sound designer saying ‘Ohhh Stu you’re so butch’. The operator subsequently swapped the disks back.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: The Art of Success
“Sound cues 8 to 14 did not happen as the Sound Op and DSM were under the impression that they had been cut. The director disagreed quite strongly.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: TIE tour of Nativity
“Miss R (Stage Manager) cut herself on the first aid box.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show : Soldiers Fortune & Playhouse Creatures
“Miss Ryan forgot her brooch despite having it handed to her by a member of Stage Management” “LXQ 53 went early because Mr. Hay’s headset fell off and hit the GO button”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Sleeping Beauty – Northcott Theatre, Exeter
“A child in the audience told Mr Hall to “get on with it” during the joke sequence, and then told him he wasn’t funny, Mr Hall continued anyway, however the audience seemed to agree with the child.” “Due to slight problem with the keyboard Andy MacLeod went into the pit during the first scene, whilst trying to sort the problem out his bottom came into contact with the tubular bells used for fairy magic, this was heard onstage but fortunately no adverse spells were cast.” “Mr Guerrini fell over a prone Mr Hall during the duet reprise. Mr Hall was unhurt and Mr Guerrini managed to prevent himself from laughing until after the scene.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show : Sleuth
“Mr_____ and Mr_____ were both put off by the sound and smell of the sewerage extraction going on out side the scene dock door. Whilst they both appreciated that the noise from the machine was neccessary they found the shouting and the singing coming from the men operating the machine distracting and had to raise their voices for the last few pages of Act 1 so that the audience could hear them. However the rest of the act ran smoothly and the front of house manager freshened the stage with a whole can of Haze during the interval.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show : Dick Whittington
“Inexperienced flyman misunderstood that whilst he was on standby for House Tabs out, the ‘GO’ was in fact for LX (as suggested by q lights). House Tabs flew out before LX had begun House lights and tabwarmers out. On realising his error, Flyman stopped 1/2 way out and paused… Dancers on stage confused but made a good effort to cover as did MD. – Head flyman had ‘nipped to the loo'”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show : Wuthering Heights
“Smoke Machine set off silent fire alarm. Fire brigade arrived at the theatre during show and insisted that the had to check the building for fire. The firemen had to creep around backstage, whilst carrying all their equipment, and try not to make too much noise (quite difficult considering all the equipment and clothes they were wearing)”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Broadway Bound
“Mr_______ was late onstage. First entrance was delayed by a tramp trying to buy Mr_______’s hat as he was en route to FOH for entrance via auditorium. (Route from backstage to audit. involves going outside)”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: A Christmas Carol
“A metal coat hanger was attached to Scrooge’s gravestone as it was brought on in Scene 12.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: The Riot, Kneehigh Theatre
“Miss D [the DSM] flashed her breasts at the cast during the opening of Act II; Only Ms A and Ms H noticed.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Taming of the Shrew (outdoors)
“Mr Pocock received a round after his speech ‘Petruchio, since we are stepped thus…’ in Act1 Sc.2. This was due to his valiant, if not entirely successful attempt to out-project a low-flying Concorde.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Educating Rita
“Due to the large number of short scenes separated by blackouts, Mr C, the Professor, found that towards the end of the first half, the audience started to leave believing the interval was due. On finding people leaving as the lights came up for the scene, Mr C asked the audience where they were going? The audience members, embarrassed, sat down and Mr C asked them politely to remain for the following two remaining scenes. He then asked the crew to go to blackout and start the scene again. The crew and audience obliged.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: The Greeks
“LXQ18 was nearly late”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Lend Me A Tenor
“Miss Beveridge prior to going on stage felt she needed to fart so forced it out before her entrance. Unfortunately this caused her to wet herself. Due to the nature of her dress she was not wearing any underwear and left a trail behind her onstage.This was not noticeable as the stage is carpeted.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show : Gypsy
“Mr. ______ entered Goldstone scene without any pants and with his dresser hysterically shouting after him. He later claimed he had forgotten to under dress, but didn’t want to be late for his entrance by putting back on his recently shed Kringelein pants. He spent the entire number in a chair perched atop a steamer trunk in his boxers.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show : Aladdin
“LX cues 86/7/8 skipped from plot due to distraction at open LX position caused by audience member requesting more light be put on stage during ‘Cave Scene’ to facilitate his video quality of his daughter’s dance routine.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Fiddler on the Roof
“In this evenings performance, electrics cues 17,32,48 and 75 were not executed as the board operator forgot to press the go button when told to do so.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Filth National Tour
“During the pre-show check at The Bush Theatre, Mr Savva was alarmed to find a rather large human turd behind the flattage. It looked fresh. A Polaroid was taken to aid identification.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
A college show, many, moons ago….
“When asking why the LX Op., who had plunged the stage into darkness 3 Cue’s before he should have, he replied: ‘I wasn’t too sure what Q the DSM had given me, therefore I was in doubt, so I went to blackout.'”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Wizard of Oz
“During Munchkinland scene, small munchkin kicked out BOTH wedges from the house truck causing it to head for the orchestra pit. 6 stage hands hanging onto the back corner for the rest of the scene averted disaster!”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Anon
“During rehearsal when a single shot was supposed to be fired from pistol, sound got over enthusiastic and a burst of machine gun fire rattled round the auditorium. Actor Mr…. looked at gun and said ‘Didn’t know it could do that!'”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Someone Who Will Watch Over Me
“After a very short rehearsal period our preview night opened to an invited audience. The first actor on stage walked to the front of the stage, flung his arms apart and said loudly ‘PROMPT’. We were 15 mins late because of the laughter.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Aurora Borealis
“A fast run. 1 sound cue nearly gave SM heart attack but I succeeded in surviving to the end of the show. Director rewrote show after performance”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Stage apart II
“a silence from a group upstage caused the DSM to give a prompt, still nothing so the DSM prompted again, the reply that came was ‘We know the f****** line, who says it?'”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Romeo and Juliet
“Miss _______ went on-stage for the curtain call and realised that she had forgotten to put her knickers on so ran off in a quick b/out and re-entered again before the final bow.”
Submitted to The Show Report website
LAMDA rehearsal report
(rehearsal report extract but worth a mention)
“The director requested that a Muslim be stretched between the RSJ’s and split up the middle”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Worlds Apart
“Kids in the audience caused problems by urinating in the stalls, eventually removed” “Musicians playing in the locker rooms had to be threatened with physical violence before they shut up”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Flibberty and the Penguin
“P___ B_____ condescended to turn up 6 minutes before curtain up, his excuse was that he was saving his voice”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Country Wife
“Mr S___ laughed hysterically when exiting as the doctor in scene one, frightening the shit out of the DSM & causing her to GO too early on LXQ2” “Mr C____ and Mr S___ were spitting at each other before curtain up and left a ‘gob’ mark on the pink wall which glistened under the lights. Assistant Director spotted it.” “Mr A____ set his coat alight with the candle but only realised when he heard the front row of audience muttering about it. He then saw the flames, said ‘OOEER’ and put himself out”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
“End of show tabs follow on Q a little late as flyman hypnotised himself whilst flying out the 2 slatted screens before”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Wizard of Oz
“Flyman decided to reveal Kansas at end of Act 1 instead of Emerald City. Doh!. House Tabs brought in quickly”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Anon
“Mr _____ was very tired at this performance as he had spent the night with a Chippendale and got no sleep”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Cavalcade by Noel Coward
“Mr J_____’s death scene exceeded the legal time allowed for a theatrical death by a large margin”“Psycho nutter audience member sat on MD’s pit piano stool and refused to move, curtain up held by 6 mins”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: Juno and the Paycock
“Mr ______ refused to go on in Act 2 saying that the Act 1 Guinness was flat, eventually persuaded by SM”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: The Beaux Stratagem
“Mr Duncan’s hat landed where he was trying to miss”
Submitted to The Show Report website
Show: The Bunnet and the Bowler Tour
“Some cast late because ruffian gave them wrong directions”
Submitted to The Show Report website